Finally, Something Inspiring on that Giant HD Screen at Nats Park

I got an awesome press release from the Washington National Opera about the “Opera in the Outfield” simulcast of The Barber of Seville at Nats Park, which as you may know is happening this evening. I personally cannot go due to my desire to set a P.R. in the half-marathon I am running tomorrow, but others are apparently bound by no such constraints, as 20,000 people have completed optional reservations to sit in the pastures normally patrolled by Josh Willingham and Willie Harris and watch a 19th-century comedy.

The press release noted that the following things are scheduled to occur at the simulcast:

  • The Armed Forces Color Guard and 42 members of the Air Force Band will present and retire the National Colors
  • 42 members of the Air Force Band will play the Armed Forces Medley
  • Pre-game activities will include a screening of Warner Brothers’ “The Rabbit of Seville”
  • The Nat Pack [but not Clint! If you don’t warn people about Clint, you don’t get to use Clint! I think that’s in the Geneva Convention somewhere -ALM] will bring out the T-shirt cannon for T-shirt tosses
  • Raffles will include a $100 Mars gift certificate and a $500 shopping spree to Target
  • Special guests will include Miss D.C. Jennifer Corey, D.C. City Council Chairman Vincent Gray, and the ever-popular [their compound modifier] Red M&M

So basically it’s a Nats game, but with more talented players. (Sorry, Ryan Z.!) Here are some things WNO could do to help Nats fans make the transition to opera even more seamlessly:

  • The chorus should consist of a bunch of elderly gentlemen with scoring notebooks and transistor radios
  • Everyone should refer to Placido Domingo as “P. Dingo” (although we should all be doing that anyway)
  • There should be one singer with an incredibly powerful voice who is extraordinarily clumsy
  • Every so often, one of the singers should pick up a prop and fling it wildly across the stage for no apparent reason
  • After an exceptionally well-sung aria, the sound system should play “Bustin’ Loose,” and the singer should do a slow lap around the stage to soak in the love from the audience
  • Kiss Cam at intermission
  • After intermission, the opera should feature a bunch of new singers, one named “Saul,” none of whom are as good as the singers they replaced
  • A bunch of fans of the Metropolitan Opera and the Opera Company of Philadelphia should come to the game and cheer whenever the WNO’s production falters
  • An orchestral version of “Three Little Birds” after the final curtain to accompany the mass exodus from the stadium

Of course, that’s if the production wants to be Nats-like. If the production wants to succeed, I guess they should do everything differently.

Advertisements
Explore posts in the same categories: Regular life

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: