Posted tagged ‘fun with HTML tables’

A Brief History of My Reaction When People Tell Me I am a “Young” Person Interested in Classical Music

July 5, 2014


My age My reaction
15 “Yes, but I’m a totally legitimate classical music fan nonetheless. Let me tell you how I liked the performer’s ritard in the slow movement. Spoiler alert: I did not like it.”
20 “Does this venue happen to provide tickets that are discounted based on my youth?”
25 “Yes, but I certainly don’t know anything about how to get other young people to come to these things. Particularly young women.”
30 “I’m not really that young, except in a classical music context. It’s kind of sad that you think I’m young, actually.”
35 (present day) “Yes. I am young. Thank you for noticing.”

I Want a New Drug

February 23, 2011

I did not know this before today, but apparently there is a drug called Sonata. In case you didn’t know or didn’t click on the link, the drug is designed to combat…wait for it…sleep deficiency. It’s always good to see that modern culture still feels the urgency of the timeless classical masterworks.

On the other hand, I guess whoever named the drug hasn’t listened to a lot of actual sonatas. Some of them don’t even have any obvious melodies. Better to have named such a medication “Barcarolle” or something.

However, classical music does seem a natural discipline from which to steal drug names, given that both classical music and pharmaceuticals favor words that sound vaguely foreign and end in vowels. Here are my ideas for classical-inspired drug names of the future:

Drug name What it treats
Tremolo Fine motor disability
Passacaglia Constipation
Eusebestan Bipolar disorder
Tempogiusto Hyperactivity
Glassinex Monomania
Collegno Erectile dysfunction
Sonatina Nap deficiency

Do you have any ideas to help further line the pockets of Big Pharma? (Was that not the best solicitation?)